I was inspired

We have a huge problem in our house..... The dreaded school bags.

After reading The Organised House Wife blog post, I got to thinking. We rent and our landlord doesn't like holes in the wall, so a fixed structure wasn't an option.
I bought a little storage unit the other week, it has those cloth draws that are pretty popular. It was this that I decided to transform.

I bought 1800ml Malamine board and some hooks and got to work.

TADAAAAAA!!! I am pretty chuffed with it.



I am going to make some adjustments, I want a pocket for school related paperwork and a mounted box for hats, I wasn't able to find what I wanted so will keep on the look out.

*new*

We bought a *new* entertainment unit when Mr P and I moved in together. It was from a local Op Shop and was a bargain at $60.

The beast

(A picture taken by B, it was pretty organised here, but it wasn't always.)

We have been wanting to put permanent shelving in the middle of the unit, today I decided it was time. We made a packed lunch and headed to town. We started at the Tip Shop just in case they had some second hand shelving. We found a new entertainment unit instead.

The mini beast

I am not a fan of the colour, but I am sure it will grow on me.

The room feels bigger and I feel capable of keeping it clutter free. Oh and it was only $50. WIN!

How depression makes me feel.

Avril Lavigne's Alice in Wonderland

When the world's crashing down
When I fall and hit the ground
I will turn myself around
Don't you try and stop me

I will cry though, it is a release, a sign of things being washed away. It isn't a weakness.

“Fall seven times, Stand up eight.” – Japanese Proverb

How's the Serenity?!

I am feeling a bit chuffed with myself and my goal for being productive this year.

Mr P took a large load to the dump today after we cleaned out the shed. We do have a rather large bit to go, but I am pretty certain a lot of the junk has gone.
My Dad took a load to the recycle this week too, I know we will have a lot to give away, but we have started to do so.

My bookcase has been tidy and well organised for a whole week. Score!

Now for the hotspots,the kitchen and dining table, to be smashed and I am on a roll!

Ways I am conquering the crap:

Reducing my work by reducing our belongings.

We had heaps of clothes, more than anyone could wear in a month.
I have gone through the boys draws and now when they pull every piece of clothing out of their draws, it isn't so bad. I make them pick them up and put them away. They aren't folded anymore, but the boys have figured out is much easier to keep them in the right spot.

I am a book gatherer. I LOVE books, they are like old friends. Comfort.
I was given some really useful advice so I am going to share it.

Books? Must be a true source of inspiration, have the intention to be re-read, have continuing lend-ability or everyday reference-ability, etc)

Fewer objects enhance our lives, not more.

Everything has a place and everything in it's place

It has always been a fight to get my boys to tidy up. I didn't realise it had so much to do with how they understood the process. If something has a spot, they know where it is to go when they pack it up.
I have made some play sheets for different activities. They play their games on the sheet and they put the toys away with the sheet. It works so well. I have to redevelop the storage unit that we have for the boys things because it isn't all that productive, but it will be. I think hooks for bags and the slide storage units for bigger toys is the way to go. I am using an old entertainment unit so not all the shelves are the right size or shape.

Do little bits often

There is always something to do. ALWAYS. It is so draining to be thinking of the million and one things that the dawn of a day brings. So I make sure I make a goal at the beginning of the day.
I have subscribed to 'the domestic housewife' page on Facebook. I have only been a follower for the last week but she always posts a goal to accomplish each day. You can follow her's or make your own.
I give myself rewards, if I have done a certain amount of time on a chore, I will give myself the same time on the computer, or reading. Then I do some more of the task and then might make myself a cup of tea, play with the boys, or any fun activity.
It doesn't feel so much like hard work when broken up.

So these are my strategies. I feel successful because I am accomplishing the mountain!



I sure do love the serenity!

Productivity

I have had a word for the last few years, which is something I strive to remember and to be.
This year, 2012, is my year of productivity.
I am needing to be productive in my goal of good mental health. I have struggled with depression since I was pregnant with my now 3 year old.

I am wanting to be more productive in my daily chores. I have started by decluttering and slowly I am working through our house to minimalise the work I have to do.

I am going to be productive with being more active. More movement = more energy. I need that.

I am going to be more productive about booking time for me. Be it making an appointment for the doctor when I have had an infected toe for 4 months, or taking time to do craft which makes me happy.

It is a large goal, but if I make it the focus for this year, I know I will be more content in life.

So my song for myself is this I like to move it. Will-I-Am It never fails to make me 'move it'.

Turn, Turn, Turn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DejUPN4SksU

I am feeling a change coming. I know that during this journey I am forever discovering who I am as a person. It has been a time of questioning, changing, crying, growing, pain and self doubt.

I have embarked an a mission of self discovery by doing a creative course, The Artist's Way. It is designed to make you look at blockages you may have in your creative mind. I am finding that it strips you back to your bare minimum and you are to look at yourself. It has challenged me immensely and I have only been doing it for a week or so. Ha!
It is going to be 3 months of recreating how I look at myself, how I think to myself and how I live everyday! I want to be able to create with my children, I want them to be energised by our creativeness, I am also hoping to break negative insecurities I have so that my children don't have to live in that shadow.
It is a big job, and I am sure that this one course isn't going to wipe my baggage clean, I am just glad I have the chance to do it and learn.
This life is so precious to me, my children are priceless and I want to get it right for them. I am sure I won't get it perfect every time, I just want to know that I am doing and continually learning.

My time has come to turn away from the negatives my censor(mind) speaks to me, I am breaking the cycle that is so embedded in the females of my family and I am going to stand strong in the new and fresh me I find!

I am doing it for me



and them

Stop messing with our food!

I am constantly flabbergasted as to how much food is tampered with before it gets to our grocery trolley and therefore, to our bodies.
An article on TV last night was about Genetically Modified (GM) Soy being a product in babies formula. It doesn't surprise me, however it deeply saddens me that when non breastfeeding women look for a product that they think will be gentler on their babies tummy, they are not made aware that the product they have thought to be better is made with 'messed with' soya beans.

When I walk into my local grocery store and see perfect tomatoes that fit neatly into boxes and can be stored for long periods in a fridge, I can not help that my mind screams NOT NORMAL!

In this fast food society we have created where we need our food to be quick and easy, what are we doing to future generations? Heart disease is on a rise and diabetes is more prevalent as well.
I was speaking to a friend of mine a while ago who works in the medical field as a doctor, she said that when talking to another doctor about the rise of heart disease they mentioned that a large amount of their patients can't understand why they had heart disease when they ate 'healthy' option frozen meals. They tell them it is probably their genetics even though they know that it is probably due to the preservatives and additives in pre-made food.

I do not know all there is to know about this topic, I am still learning.
It is the reason why I have endeavoured to grow as much of our food as I can, and if I can't then I will buy from locally sourced growers. I try to buy the organic option when available and I buy food that doesn't have additives or preservatives. I make our bread and yoghurt and I cook a lot of our food from scratch. It may sound like a lot of work but to be honest, for someone who is generally rather lazy in the kitchen, it has been a fun and rewarding journey. I buy our meat from butchers who source local meat.
Locally sourced options will support the community and local industry, which then means that farmers don't have to grow food that is striped of all goodness yet packed with steroids and GM for the mass production supermarkets require. Way better for the farmer and better for our bodies, it also makes for a profitable region.

I have seen a difference in my children since embarking on this journey, they are more relaxed, their skin is healthier and their eyes are brighter. The other difference is that we don't get sick as often and when we are, it isn't for as long as it would have been before these changes. All major pluses for me!

We made it!

We have been at our new home about a week and a half now. We didn't have internet for most of that time and although it totally sucked, I enjoyed knowing that I was available. I usually use the internet as an escape. I have hardly been on since we had the internet connected anyway, I think I am enjoying what I am living now where as I wasn't really impressed with my surroundings previously.
We decided to leave a little later in the morning and it ended up to be around 10 before we actually left on our journey. We had booked a motel for the night so we only needed to drive about 6 or so hours not including stops.
It felt like we were making great time on a road that we hadn't driven before as we usually took the coast one. There was



this sign and I so knew that if B could read he would have giggled at the fact a sign had the word BUTT on it. So I had to take a photo to you know, let everyone else know that he would have laughed because butt jokes are hilarious!

The boys were squished in the back between unwashed clothes, toys and food.


Every photo taken needs a CHEEEESE chorused by both young men. Cute.

H had a massive car to keep him occupied



B had a new Woody doll that needed to sit all safe and sound in the belt with him


Well, until he got bored and decided that he would make a brilliant missile to shoot at his little brother.

I had miss placed my sunglasses and was getting a headache from squinting, so we promptly stopped at a service station and Mr P went and got each of us a new pair of shades.....



He came back with these. I have been avoiding bug eyes like the plague yet my only criteria was that they can't squeeze the side of my head. Of course now I have decided that I kinda like them. Huh! (my hand is doing a bad job of hiding double chin.)

We ended up driving 5 hours and got about as far as 2 hours on the coast road so then had to do some serious moving to make it to our motel without falling asleep at the wheel. Mr P and I decided to play trivia for the last 2 hours of the trip, very good thinking Mr P, it was so much easier to get to where we were going after 9 hrs of driving.
We got booked into the motel and got some fatty goodness for dinner. Once in the room my children were doing..





After a hard day traveling there is nothing quite like reading the Bible according to B. H had other plans. Ha!

The next morning we only had about 4 hrs to travel and it was pretty easy going. As the only driver nothing says you are nearly home quite like this




Cane. Beautiful sugar cane.

We are here, we are actually living a life that I have been wanting for my family. We are outside more, happier and less cranky. Gotta love that. B is loving his new school. Mr P is learning the new ropes of his job. H hates the feel of sand and I have been digging a new garden.

Before pics-






The Magpies came to eat rouge bugs while I dug. I just hope they remember my generous token when it comes to Spring.

Part of the process

My Mum came over yesterday, with her she bought a massive bag of B5's baby clothes. I had completely forgotten about them.
I emptied them on my couch to sort and put in bags to recycle, then completely broke down in tears! It was so random. I had no idea that I would be effected by seeing these beautiful tiny clothes. They are only clothes! Well obviously the time we shared while he was dressed in those clothes were more precious then I had ever thought. There was the suit that he wore when he was 3 months in first picture of this post. He had just started to fill out the 0000 sized clothes so I was trying him in 000! It is still so fresh in my memory, the reason he has freaky eyes like that is because he was fixated on the netballers in their tiny skirts that were on TV! Ha! I spent ages to get the right picture of just how focused he was on those awesome colours.
Anyway, that aside, I was really proud of myself. I touched them, I processed and I then bagged them and passed them on. I have never done that before. I would have kept that turtle suit, at least one pair of the tiny socks he wore, so on, so on. I realised yesterday how much I auto piloted the first year of his life. I completely poured myself into him and I ignored everything else. It was hard. I think I used the process of dressing him as therapy or maybe a tad bit of denial, if he looked good then everything was good.
So now it is an end of a hoarding era, I now have gotten rid of all clothes that don't fit H anymore. Sad but yet so exciting to move forward.
A friend just had a small baby boy so I really hope she can get heaps of use out of them, if not then I am sure someone out there will.

Reminiscing

I have been looking through my photo albums and I have been marveling in the change of my littles over the last couple of years


This is my gorgeous son B5 when he was 3 months old
This is him now


My other beautiful son, H1


and now


Ridiculous how fast time flies.

These past five years have had so many times growth and determination. I have become so many things, a mother, nurturer, fighter, carer, provider, learner, teacher, I have grieved and I have celebrated. I have had so much change it spins my head to process those years.

When I first found out I was pregnant with B5 I was 21 years old, I was in a rocky relationship and I was so far removed from who I used to be. It was a time of uncertainty and pain. I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and knew that the life inside of me was mine and I was going to grow it and nurture this beautiful gift. I spent a fair chunk of my pregnancy uncertain of if I was bringing my baby into a family of 3 or just him and me.
Finally the day arrived that he was going to arrive. I had very little fluid around him and apparently my placenta had started to calcify. My baby was a little small but that wasn't too odd I was told. He was riding high and I was told that with his heart rate continually decelerating he was at a great risk and wasn't gong to be able to be born naturally. I was taken to Theatre after 4 hours of labour and being only 2cm. I was given a spinal block and with my Mum waiting outside and partner beside me I gave birth to our son with the assistance of Theatre staff. I remember feeling slight tugging and then an almighty light feeling and then I was seeing his gorgeous pinky, slimy body flung over the sheet. I yelled out his name and had a little cry. I had done it, my first born was here. It felt like an eternity between that moment and hearing him cry. He was having a little issue with breathing and was given some oxygen. He was wrapped and finally I was able to meet my son. I was looking at him thinking, I wonder if this is how all newborns look. I was in love, utterly and completely. He had my heart forever. I was then told that they were taking him back to the Maternity ward and I asked my Partner and Mother to go with him. I was stitched up and taken to recovery. As I was wheeled out the doors I saw the Obstetrician and Paediatrician talking and the look on their faces looked as if someone had died. I was saying to myself, please not me, please not me... then the Paed walked over. My heart was lodged in my mouth. He asked me a question. "What do you know about Down Syndrome?"
How was I supposed to answer? I was shocked and silent.
He said that it could just be a look and Grandpa could walk in the door tomorrow and we will click our fingers and know that that is why he looks the way he does.
I drifted in and out of awareness and I can't recall everything. I asked to see my partner. I remember that while he was on his way a nurse was telling me that her aunt had Down Syndrome and she had practically raised her and her cousins.
After my partner came I don't recall much at all until the next day. I know that once I got back to my room I didn't put my little man down. All I knew was love, come what may, love was all I felt for him.
We were told that he would have chromosomal tests done but they would take 2 weeks to come back as we lived in a rural town. We spent those 2 weeks in a lot of denial, he just had bags under his eyes like his father. He was so amazingly gorgeous and perfect, surely he didn't have it. Both of us had no experience with people who have Down Syndrome, there was a girl in Primary School that was a couple of years younger and all I could remember is that she used to spit on everyone. So with our lack of knowledge we got to know our child and love him for who he was, not a diagnosis. I am so glad I had that time, it made me so appreciative of the gift I held in my arms.
We were told that we would have an appointment regardless of outcome because the hospital was unable to tell us results via the phone. We got the appointment time when bub was just over 2 weeks old. We heard our names being called and began to walk towards the door. My partner went in first and held the door for me, the doctor, before I had even entered the room said 'Well obviously he has it or we wouldn't be here.' I felt like I had been punched. He said that Early Intervention was the best option for these little ones and we should research our best option and go for it.
I am sitting here 5 years later still feeling my disappointment at this doctor for the way we were treated. We just needed some compassion and guidance, we needed to be referred, not told to research. It was 6 + weeks until we were able to get some assistance. I am so Thankful to the team when we did see them, without their help I wouldn't have been able to learn the things that I have.
When my little man was 3 months old my relationship with his father ended. He told me that it was over on the Wednesday, he was out of the house by the Friday. It was so hard. That Sunday was Mother's day, my very first Mother's day was spent as a newly single mother.
Ok enough self pity now, this is about growth not woe is me.
I am actually really Thankful that I was given the chance to be the best mother that I ever could be, so even though he was a total douche, I am so grateful that I spent 3 years growing my gorgeous boy all by myself.

So that is it, how my journey as a mother started, challenging, yes, but well worth every minute.

Alpha

I never thought I would start a blog, I love to read them but felt that I wouldn't be very good at writing in one. We are yet to see if I was right!
I was reading a blog and couldn't hear the music so I thought if I sign in it would allow me to hear the all important mood music. Alas it seems I have not achieved that by signing in. LOL.

So I guess my goals are to just dump and let the joys of life write themselves. I am a Mumma to two young little men that are my pride and joy. I am trying to change our life for the better and in doing so reduce the footprint of our little family on this gorgeous world we live in. My Partner is a beautiful man who does his best to support us, he loves us all so dearly and I adore that about him.
B5 began school this year, H18 months is attending family daycare 3 days a week and currently I am working for a nappy fabric company that is an incredibly eco aware. LOVE IT!! Mr P (for partner not Phoenix. LOL) has just started to be a salesman and he is rocking it out and is in line for a promotion, he has been there for 3 months. So very proud of his effort.

Well my brain is empty, I have been running on very little sleep with both boys being unwell and me just plain worn out.

So that was my very first post.... exciting. HA